One day a Brahman happened to be walking through the sultry jungles of India. While on his walk through the thick forage, he came upon a tiger stuck in deep hole. The tiger was in much distress and was crying out to the Brahman to help him out. Yet, the tiger's sharp teeth and fierce appearance caused the Brahman to hesitate. The Brahman stood in his tracks and pondered in his thoughts: "Why should I help this tiger? He's only going to attack me when I let him go." However, the tiger started crying, "Oh please please please let me go!". "I'll do anything anything!". The tiger kept on going for a quite a while, and the Brahman began to get annoyed. "Okay tiger, I'll get you out", the Brahman said grudgingly. Using a nearby stick, the Brahman pulled the tiger from its place deep in the Earth. The tiger landed on the ground with a loud thud and immediately grabbed the Brahman onto the ground. "How dumb you are! There is nothing stopping me from eating you!", yelled the tiger. The Brahman was fearful and begged loudly for mercy until the tiger came with a compromise. He told the Brahman to meet the first three things he see and ask what the tiger should do. Grateful, the Brahman left and met a wandering sheep. He quietly asked the sheep and asked it what the tiger should do. The sheep was taken aback. He yelled at the unjustness of people who take his wool for their own needs and how he receives nothing in return. Moreover, his brother and sister had been taken away from his home and brutally slaughtered for the pleasure of humans. The sheep began to cry heavily and cowered beneath a tree. Distraught, the Brahman quietly left and met an elephant grazing in a field. Again he asked the animal what the tiger should do regarding his own life. The elephant only moaned about the many trees he was forced to move by the people, leaving him tired and weakened. Additionally, the elephant had been forced to stay up all night as humans made him march down the village during a festival procession. The elephant gave a mean look to the Brahman, and slumbered to a grassy field for a well-needed nap. The Brahman now even more distraught went to a peacock admiring his image through a river. Yet, as the Brahman approached the peacock he saw his plumage had been altered. He also asked for the peacock's opinion on his terrible predicament. The peacock only sighed and lamented on how humans had taken away his fantastic feathers in return for nothing. Now the Brahman was on the brink of complete despair as he began to walk back to the tiger. However, while walking back, a fox noticed the downtrodden state of the Brahman and asked what had happened to cause such sadness. The Brahman quickly explained his situation, and the fox became confused. He did not understand the Brahman's story for some reason. Thus, they both decided to return to the tiger so that the fox could better grasp the situation. There the tiger was patiently waiting for his meal to return but was surprised by the sight of the fox. In order to elucidate the matter, the fox asked the tiger about what had happened earlier. The tiger, despite much hunger, obliged and explained the past events. Again, the fox was confused: "But how exactly did you get out of the hole?", he said. The tiger frustrated in having to wait for his meal then jumped into the hole to show the fox the earlier mess he was in. As the tiger asked if the fox had then understood, he heard no response. The Brahman and fox were long gone from the hole. "Thank you for saving my life fox. How can I ever repay you?", said the Brahman as he walked alongside the fox. The fox was quiet and contemplated an answer. Having given much thought, the fox answered, "Oh Brahman, please let me come live with you and be your pet." The Brahman was taken aback as he was not expecting such a request. Yet, he knew how the fox saved his life and such a deed was worthy of a great reward. He agreed to the fox's request, and the two went to their now same home.
Author's Note: I changed the story to where the flow of the story was less reliant on dialogue, as was used often in the original story, and more dependent on character actions. Moreover, I included different animals for the Brahman to meet and substituted one cunning animal, the jackal, for another, the fox, in order to defeat the tiger. Additionally, the tiger was found to be in a deep hole rather than in a cave. For my revisions, I added more details to the sheep and elephant so that the reader can better understand why they refused to help the Brahman. I also created a new ending where the Brahman and fox live together after defeating the tiger.
Author's Note: I changed the story to where the flow of the story was less reliant on dialogue, as was used often in the original story, and more dependent on character actions. Moreover, I included different animals for the Brahman to meet and substituted one cunning animal, the jackal, for another, the fox, in order to defeat the tiger. Additionally, the tiger was found to be in a deep hole rather than in a cave. For my revisions, I added more details to the sheep and elephant so that the reader can better understand why they refused to help the Brahman. I also created a new ending where the Brahman and fox live together after defeating the tiger.
Wikipedia: The fox that ended up finding a new home
Bibliography: Story source: Indian Fairy Tales by Joseph Jacobs with illustrations by John D. Batten (1912).
Hi Neal,
ReplyDeleteI have to ask: is this an origin story for the domesticated dog? Or am I just imaging that?
It would definitely make your story more readable if you put the dialogue into its own lines as is usually the convention; it helps to break up the “wall of text” and distinguishes speech from narration. As a reading, I definitely always appreciate that, since it makes it easier for me to enjoy your stories!
Thanks,
Best,
A.M.
Hey Neal! First of all, I love the website design. I'm not sure how to add that edit on the first line, but I love how you did it. I agree with your decision to limit the dialogue in the story. I think that unless you're reading Aesop's Fables or watching an animated movie, it's a little weird when the animals can talk. However, I would suggest that you break up future stories into shorter paragraphs. That way, you can emphasize certain lines or moments in the story and keep the reader's attention even better. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Neal!
ReplyDeleteI really loved this story and I think you have a great retelling of it. I liked how you made yours less dialogue reliant because I do the same things with my retellings. I don't know what it is but dialogue is so hard for me. I think your revisions do a good job of better explaining the motivations of the sheep and elephant.
Hey Neal! I liked your story and have a few comments.
ReplyDeleteOne sentence I found in your story was a bit confusing, where "he" refers to the fox. "He did not understand the Brahman's story for some reason." What specific reason did the fox not understand the Brahman's story?
Overall, your story was very well-written. One recommendation I have is splitting up your story into multiple paragraphs to make it easier to read. Good job!
Neal,
ReplyDeleteI love how you transformed this story! I read this story as well so I knew it would be interesting to see what things you switched up. I love that you took new elements and placed them within the boundaries of an existing story. I loved that you had the fox return as his pet as well. Great storytelling abilities!